friday august 05, 2011

yesterday i was invited to join a group on facebook that reminisces about my old hometown, claxton. i joined and started reading and commenting, and i realized how many things i had forgotten! i read comments from people i havent seen or even thought of in 20+ years. it opened the floodgates to a lot of memories, both good and bad.

for reasons i dont really care to get into right now, growing up was a bit hard on me. i wish i had MORE happier memories like the ones i read from everyone else. dont get me wrong, i have happy memories, just not a lot of them. well actually i dont even want to talk about that now that i've opened this proverbial can of worms. *replaces lid and squishes the escapees*

yesterday i took the last test of this quarter. i have two final exams, one monday and one tuesday, and tuesday is my last day of class. i'll be through with school until the 22nd of august. the kids and i start back on the same day. oh boy that's gonna be one hectic morning, i can tell right now! i'm always late anyway, that's just a fact of life for me. i always joke and say i can start out 3 hours early and still be late! but in all honesty that's the truth, lol. i dont know why, it's always been like that for me.

over the course of the past hour i've developed a headache. everything is very bright, brighter than it should be, and the light hurts my eyes. i'm leading up to either a migraine or a case of vampirism. either way i will have to do pretty much the same thing for a little while: hide in a cold dark place. minus the blood-drinking. im trying to cut back (haha).

well let's back up another paragraph....i was talking about finishing this quarter. i have a 4.0 GPA....whooop whooop! the classes were wicked easy but tedious. it's hard toiling through 5 weeks stuff i already know. but i did it, by crackey! the finals will be a breeze. then on the 22nd i have to start the hard stuff. probably going to be doing some anatomy/physiology and some math/chemistry. chemistry is the only subject i'm even concerned about. i didnt fare so well in that when i was in high school, but i did pass. maybe now that my study skills and retention abilities are (hopefully!) honed with age, i will do better. life experience and existing knowledge have a lot to do with how well you learn something new, at least for me.

i've really been receiving a lot of discouragement and negative feedback from family and friends about my choice of study and to be honest, it's kind of having an effect on my psyche. i'm starting to doubt myself, and i hate when i doubt myself. i rarely doubt myself! i always know that i can pull through in the end with whatever i endeavor as long as i want to do it, but for some reason everyone coming down on me is taking its toll. i understand everyone's concerns but encouragement goes a long way in a person's success. i wish they understood that. besides, my options as a cosmetologist are not limited to just cutting hair. there are many jobs in that field that i will be qualified for when i am licensed.